The Art of Moving On…In a Playlist…

Another sleepless night, another e-mail sent, another step closer to a new life; or at least to what I think is retribution. 

It’s so funny how difficult it is to compose just one simple e-mail, while a kilometric blog can take shape out of my keyboard in just minutes. I guess words don’t come as easy when what you’re trying to come up with means everything. Dealing with your one and only shot between living a new life or dying a slow and painful death living the same old bullshit way is no walk in the park. As unique as we individuals are, there is no such thing as a roadmap in these situations. We all have our own tragedies to escape from, aspirations to pursue and ideals to live by. 

It also doesn’t help that people around you; those you expect sympathy from, dismisses your agony as just one of your countless whining. Can’t blame them. I guess this is one wolf-crying lesson learned the hard way.

Oh well, thank Steve for itunes…

And god save the musicians… to long keep me company in whatever ordeal may come. 

While writing my fabled e-mail, I only had itunes to keep me at bay. Two songs stood out of my shuffled playlist that delivered a rejuvenated sense hope; making things a bit easier to swallow, goodbyes easier to utter, and uncertainties easier to challenge.

Song number 1: Boston – Augustana 

Killer line:

She said

You don’t know me, you don’t even care…

She said

You don’t know me, and you don’t wear my chains…

:

:

She said I think I’ll go to Boston…
I think I’ll start a new life,
I think I’ll start it over, where no one knows my name 

:

:

I think that I’m just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind…
I think I need a sunrise, I’m tired of the sunset…

People running away from something, someone or someplace doesn’t necessarily mean running away shit scared from the consequences of their mistakes. Sometimes running away really is the best option. Things tend to get so complicated that the more you try to untangle it, the more it gets messed up. To the point that you get yourself tangled into that intricate web weaved out of your fears and frustrations, making it impossible for you to re-surface, even just to catch a breath. Before you know it, you’re part of that something that you’ve been trying to run away from in the first place, and there’s no other place you can go. 

I think, things really does happen for a reason, and this predicament that I’m into right now isn’t really all that bad. It made me realize on how far I’ve been drifting from who I really am, and what I really want. I was so lost in a thick blanket of cloud called comfort zone, which made it virtually impossible for me to follow my bearings. I guess It was an all too sweet dream that made me so afraid of waking up. But everything has to end and at some point, and now I’m wide awake. Time to go on…

Song number 2: The Pieces Don’t Fit Anymore -James Morisson

Killer line:

It’s time to surrender

It’s been too long pretending

There’s no use in trying

When the pieces don’t fit anymore

What can I say? Right on target. Why would you still want to push for things that you know won’t fit anymore? Would you rather play safe for all the wrong reasons or gamble for all the right ones?

P.S. Thoughts

I guess it’s time to live on that one statement that I’ve been marveling at since I’ve seen the movie Fast and the Furius: Tokyo Drift; ”life is simple, make a choice then never look back.” 

Who knows, maybe leaving all these burdens behind will eventually do me good. I can’t even imagine how mobile I could be once I snap out of these chains…

Then again, nothing beats seeing the faces of the skeptics once they realize how beautiful a caterpillar can be… 

And perhaps, you just have to know me a little bit more to understand what’s going on with all these

Another Sleepless Night; Another Reason to Blog

Monday Aug 18, 2008 04:25 am

I’m still up (lying down) exhausted, frustrated, agitated and irritated. It’s yet another sleepless night. My mind is still oozing with verve; even though my body had given up hours ago.

I can’t even remember the last time I got to sleep on a normal time (for a normal person, it should be on or before 10:00 pm). Well I guess aimlessly staring at my glow in the dark cosmic objects is getting a bit old, my car magazines are getting a bit outdated, having read every single word, and I guess counting sheep is a bit tiring and stupid. 

Things like warm milk, listening to soothing music and other allegedly sleep inducing methods just doesn’t do the trick for me. Well I guess, there really is no cure to sleep disorder caused by too much thinking nearing some chronic depression proportions.

Funny thing is; today at the advent of the call center age, being an insomniac isn’t really that alarming anymore. On the flip side, it seems to add more pizzazz on your already cool persona marred by badges of honor commonly known as dilemmas.

Yes I guess people today are that screwed up. And the more screwed up you are; the more astig you are.

Oh well, I think I’m really going nowhere with this. I guess I’m that screwed up.

The Test Room, Ressurected

It’s been a year, two months, and a couple of days since my last post on this site (June 13, 2007 to be exact). I long considered this (site) as one of my two condemned web hang-outs, the other one being my blogger, which I abandoned due to… Hmm; I guess, no particular reason at all. 

So what in the world am I doing here again? Well, Like you, I’m also befuddled.

Anyhow, let’s just say that I need some space where I can just let it all out without worrying about anyone knowing anything about it, or reading it. Weird huh, so why not just keep a personal journal, you might say? Well I guess, screaming your heart out loud on an open field is far better than inking down your angst on some cutesy diaries, keeping it to yourself not knowing for how long can you keep it in check. 

To make my long story short, my multiply page is beginning show up it’s social networking (dark) side, by gaining a bit of a popularity with the number of followers increasing at an exponential rate (okay, contacts it is.) And that publicity takes off its homey feel. I can go on and on with a thousand reasons but it all boils down to what I simply need, an outlet. 

I’m not totally giving up my multiply, I’d still keep it for sharing photos, videos etc (which I rarely do, so there really wont be much of a difference.) As of this site, hmm let’s just say that it will hold the personal stuff that I still want to share, but not broadcast. You get what I mean.  

So, here it is, without further blah blah, I OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCE; THAT THE TEST ROOM IS ONCE AGAIN UP AND RUNNING… And I hope this time, it won’t run out of gas…

Hello world!